The Insanity of Tim Speedle
by CaptainSparrow09
Summary: Tim is sick and is forced to take a day off from work. Bored out of his mind, he has nothing better to do than watch TV and when he falls asleep, some strange things go on in his head.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Everything/one belongs to their respective owners.

A/N: This came while I had quite an interesting conversation with speedmonkey so you can thank her for part of this insanity my brain spewed out.

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Calleigh glanced behind her, hearing Tim sneezing and coughing.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Tim mumbled, sounding congested. "Go... go... achoo!"

"Oh baby..." Calleigh sat up and turned the light on. "Nothing's wrong?"

Tim shook his head and rolled over. He groaned and rolled back onto his back.

"I can't breathe." he moaned. "My head hurts. My whole body hurts."

Calleigh looked at Tim sympathetically, them climbed out of bed.

"Wait, where are you going?" he asked. Calleigh ignored him and walked into their adjoining bathroom. She came back with the thermometer and aspirin. "What are you my mother?"

"Do I look like your mother?"

"No and if you did I'd be scared." Tim said as Calleigh sat down. She stuck the thermometer under his tongue and waited. A few minutes later she pulled it out and sighed. "Am I dying?"

"Are you five?" Calleigh countered. "You have a fever, very far from dying. Take these."

"Calleigh..."

"Tim, don't make me shove them down your throat." she handed him the aspirin and with a grimace, he swallowed them.

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"I'm fine!" Tim insisted, coughing violently. He followed Calleigh out into the hallway, bracing himself against the wall. "You can't leave me here."

"I can and I am. Get back on that couch. Come on." Calleigh grabbed Tim's arm and led him back into their living room. He groaned, knowing he didn't have a choice and lay down. "I'll call you around noon to see if you need anything. Okay? There's soup in the cabinet. Tissues are on the coffee table. You have the remote."

"I'm dying and you expect me to make soup?" Tim grumbled.

"Aspirin is in the bathroom."

"I can barely walk and you expect me to go upstairs?"

"I thought you were fine." Calleigh smiled. She leaned now and kissed Tim's forehead. "Try to get some sleep."

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"Well here's a change. Calleigh is coming in alone and she's on time for a change." Eric smirked. "Where's the hubby?"

"He's sick." Calleigh smiled. "Woke up last night with a fever. I won't let him come in."

"Damn, wish I was married to you."

"He wants to be here though."

"Poor baby." Alexx sympathized. "He okay?"

"One minute he says he's fine, next he says that he's dying."

Eric snickered and went back to his newspaper. A cell phone went off and Calleigh sighed, seeing it was her own.

"And it begins." she muttered, flipping the top open. "Calleigh Speedle."

"It's too hot. I'm hungry but can't move. Your mother has called twice. The only thing on TV is The View and they're talking about what color to paint your toenails when you go to the beach."

"Good. You'll be stylish the next time we go."

"Calleigh..."

"Put a DVD on. Baby, try to relax. If you sleep you'll be better and able to come back to work tomorrow."

Horatio walked in and eyed his team.

"Okay. I love you. Fine you can hate me now. Alright. I'll call you later. Bye." Calleigh snapped her phone shut. "I have a feeling this is going to be a long day."

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Tim sighed, then went into another fit of coughing. It was now 1 o'clock and he was bored out of his mind. No baseball, since the baseball season was over, no football, no games were one. Hockey was dead. Basketball didn't excite him. He would die before watching a soap opera. How could it be that he paid all that money for the DirectTV service, which Calleigh said was, 'useless,' and there be nothing on? Tim was beginning to think she was right. Finally, after much channel surfing and to Tim's dismay, the only thing that seemed even interesting was Casablanca.


	2. Chapter 2

Tim walked through the bustling crowd of his club, people yelling out his name. He ignored them and walked over to the bar.

"Hey boss."Frank nodded. "You want something?"

"Strongest thing you got Frank." Tim muttered.

"Where were you last night?" Carrie asked. Tim noticed the redhead sitting besides him.

"That was so long ago I don't remember." he replied.

"Will I see you tonight?"

"I never make plans that far in advance."

Carrie gave Tim a seething look and he grabbed his drink.

"Thanks Frank." and he walked off towards another part of his club. He passed Tyler at the piano and nodded at him. Tyler gave him a grin and kept on singing.

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"Tim will be very happy to know that he has more customers." Horatio laughed cheerily, helping a couple to their table.

"Who is Tim?" Calleigh asked.

"Ms. Delko, you are at Tim's!" Horatio exclaimed.

"Who is he?"

"Well, Tim is the kind of man that... well, if I were a woman, and I were not around, I should be in love with Tim. But what a fool I am talking to a beautiful woman about another man."

"Will he be dining with us?" Eric asked.

"Oh no. Tim never sits with customers." Horatio said.

"Is Tim here?"

"He should be around somewhere. You missed the excitement a few minutes ago." Horatio smirked. "That weasel Wolfe got shot for sneaking some information to the news. Isn't that right Frank?"

"Yes it is Lt." he said. "Enjoy your drinks."

Calleigh was eyeing Tyler and he grinned suggestively over at her.

"Who is the piano player Lt?" she asked.

"Him? Oh. He came with Tim. That's Tyler Jensen." Horatio replied. Eric was looking at the bar and rested his hand gently on Calleigh's back.

"I'm going to go over to the bar." he said quietly. He walked away and Calleigh looked up at Horatio.

"Can you get me to him?"

"Yes of course." Horatio escorted Calleigh up to a table near Tyler's piano. His grin faded when he saw who it was.

"Hello Tyler." Calleigh said quietly.

"Hello Calleigh."

"Been a long time."

"Yes it has."

"Is Tim here?"

"I don't know. I mean, maybe. I mean... yes... no. Yeah. He left some time ago. Got a girl up at another club."

"You're a horrible liar Tyler." Calleigh smiled sadly. He suddenly stopped playing and turned towards her.

"Leave him alone Calleigh."

"Play it Tyler."

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Tim walked down from his office and stopped, hearing what was being played. He quickly marched over to the piano and glared at Tyler.

"I thought I told you to never play that in here." he snapped. Tyler gave a sideways glance to Calleigh and Tim felt his heart stop.

"Ah... you were asking about Tim and here he is." Horatio smiled, coming up with Eric. "Tim, this is Eric Delko and his wife Calleigh. This is Tim Speedle. He owns the club."

"Hence the reason why it's called, 'Tim's Café.'" Tyler said.

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"You're getting on that plane with Eric, where you belong." Tim said. "You don't belong with me."

"But... no I can't Tim." Calleigh shook her head. "You're... you're just saying this to make me go."

"No I'm saying it because it's true. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not on it, you're gonna regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow but soon and for the rest of your life."

"What about us?"

"We'll always have Miami." Tim said. "Now go. Before Stetler comes."

"Tim..." Calleigh looked at him, then to Eric, who was waiting by the plane. "I said I'd never leave you."

"And you won't." Tim glanced behind him where he saw Stetler coming. Horatio gave him a wary look on and Tim pushed Calleigh towards the plane.

"Tim..."

"Here's lookin' at you kid." he winked at her and turned around to face Stetler.

"Stop them Speedle!" he roared. Calleigh gasped, hearing a loud bang, then saw Stetler fall to the ground. Finally, with a sob, she turned and went to Eric. A patrol officer came up and Horatio stopped him.

"Det. Stetler has been shot. Round up the usual suspects."

"Yes sir."

"You're not turning me in?" Tim asked. Horatio shook his head. "H, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

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Tim shot up like a rocket when he heard the phone ringing. What a dream... he sighed and grabbed the phone.

"Hello?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Good thing you did."

"Why?"

"I had the weirdest dream. I fell asleep with Casablanca on and I was there, and you were there, so was Eric, Tyler, Frank, Delgado, and Horatio, oh and Stetler. And we all took on parts of the characters."

"Let me guess." Calleigh said dryly. "You were Humphrey Bogart."

"Yeah. You were the girl. Eric was her husband. Horatio was the head officer guy. Frank was a bartender. Delgado was a drunk that was in love with me. Tyler was the piano player, Sam and Stetler was the Nazi that Bogart shoots in the end."

"Oh honey that's... interesting. I see the medicine is working."

"I let you go off with Eric in the end and it was scary. I was saying lines from the movie."

"Okay. Well it's only two so you still have a few hours on your own. Don't go dreaming about Star Wars or anything."

"Don't say that."

"Yeah cause then you'd be Luke and I'd be Leia and I'd wind up with Horatio as Han Solo right?" Calleigh laughed.

"You're very funny sweetheart."

"Well I try. I'm gonna stop at the store on my way home. You want anything?"

"About six boxes of tissues."

"I'll see what I can do. I love you."

"I love you too."

"And don't go marrying me off to Frank or Stetler now." Calleigh said, a teasing tone in her voice. Tim scowled as the phone clicked and he tossed it onto the floor. Why did she have to be so mean?

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A/N: Alrighty, there's the first part of me and Tim's insanity. Well mine, I just put it in his brain. I stole a few lines from Casablanca because they're just so... classic. This is probably the most stupidest thing I've come up with besides Tim being scared of oompa loompas so please, scream your brains out at me. :D


End file.
